Monday, May 19, 2008

Time Standing Still

My sixth treatment is done! so, i guess this means that I'm halfway through. . .with the chemo, at least. Man, it sure does feel like I've been out of touch with the world for much longer than that. Every minute of my life now is about living in the moment and I find that makes my days go by so much slower than planning every second out. It's a good way to live. although, for the planner that I am, it is hard to curb my innate desire to 'do' all that I can. this is something that I've been struggling with. I have to constantly remind myself that it is about me getting better. less beating myself up because i didn't do everything I wanted, more reading and stretching and relaxing. it's surprising how hard it is in our high paced society to actually NOT do anything. I'm working on it though. It's my life lesson.

I am so ready for treatments to be over with. I was told this week that I will have to continue every week with the neupogen shot because my body just keeps getting low white blood counts. They say it's just my thing. Some people have bad side effects, or infections, and I just have low white counts from the chemo. sucks. Good news will hopefully be coming my way soon though. I have a pet scan coming up. I have had this scan before. It pretty much determines where the cancer is in my body and how active it is. This particular scan is scheduled for this Wednesday and will show the progress of the treatment. I will not receive the results until I go in for my seventh chemo session next Tuesday. Grueling, but i'm used to the waiting at this point. The doctor's are super positive. They are fairly sure the results will be good. My cough that I had (caused by the lymph nodes being SO swollen that they pushed against my esophagus) is all but gone, and my swollen lymph nodes in my neck are now flat, which means that they are also not swollen. Great signs! So, even though this was my halfway point, I will be looking forward to next week as the real middle road to see how well the progress of the drugs is going.

I have been feeling pretty good. I'm a lot more worn down than I was those first couple weeks. trying to remain active though. My weeks consist of a little yoga, walks, a run if I'm up for it, and tons of things in between. My sister came into town last week. It was so nice to have her here. And like some of my friends have gotten to experience, she went with me to a chemo treatment. I imagine it's super interesting for those who have not ever done anything like this before. And like all, I'm sure she was pretty surprised to see how nice the facility is that I go to. Stanford keeps you happy for sure. I'll have to snap a picture of the foyer with a grand piano automatically playing all day and concierge desk to direct you to your clinic. Ritzy! Our visit was nice. I'm lucky to have such a great support system.

So, here are some photos to keep you entertained. enjoy. I'm putting one up that my friend Melissa took of me, one of me and the sis, and one of me and brett on our 3 year anniversary weekend in Big Sur (my head was not quite shaved at this point, but brett has shaved his in commemoration of mine falling out!


Anonymous said...

I HOPE this makes you laugh. If not, Susie has permission to slug me next time she's in town. You look like Persis Khambatta in the first Star Trek movie.

In other words, still beautiful.


Scott and Tara

Anonymous said...

Keep being a fighter...your in our thoughts.

Love ya,