Second Chapter: Radioactive

So, i'm back on the treatment track and wanted to catch you guys up on the past few weeks. After chemo was fantastic. My mush brain recovered fairly quickly and my energy was back within the first couple weeks. there's nothing new about it . . . i hated chemo. it was harsh on my body and energy, and I felt like I couldn't even concentrate on my thoughts. i dreaded going in every monday. the days were so long and the treatments, while i was lucky to experience no really extreme physical reactions, gave me a complete distaste for iv's. I can still taste the flavor of the medications and feel them corsing through my veins. It certainly doesn't help that my arms are still pretty worked from the adventure.

Now, i'm in the second week of my radiation treatment. The treatment is fairly simple although the ramifications seem to be more intense than my chemo. Radiation is a dangerous game. Not like any of this has been a walk in the park for my long term health (from the PET scans, which is basically injecting you with nuclear fluid, to the nitrogen gas drug (nitrogen mustard) they gave me in chemo, which is the same thing they used on war protesters to subdue them during the 60's), but radiation is like adding on 10x's the risk. I was told that my thyroid has a 50% chance of failing, and i'm at greater risk for other types of cancer's, blood clots, heart attacks, and burns! great. let's just skip it! but, the routine is fairly simple. i go down to stanford 5 times a week and have a mask (that was made especially for me) fitted on me to hold my head down on this table as I lay still and let a machine circle me, shooting me with radiation for no more than 1 minute per blast. it's relatively painless although i may get a sore throat (which i'm already starting to feel and feels more like a closing up of my throat with pressure) and feel a little run down, in addition to a little nausea and some pain and shortness of breath in my chest. ok. i realize i made that sound pretty simple, but it is when compared to Chemo! anyway, three more weeks to go! i cannot wait!

I've already been back at work for 2.5 weeks and enjoy doing something different with my afternoons than sitting around the house. take care for now everyone! I'll be in touch soon.

finished! good riddens

My Chemo Journey has ended! I had my last session yesterday. We had a big posse of people along for the ride. My father in law, roger, came up from Redlands, CA, as well as my parents from Saint Louis. Then of course, there was Brett and I. The chemo went pretty quickly. Unfortunately, the rest of the day took a downturn. one of the drugs I was given cause fevers in patients. I hadn't be getting them, because another drug, i just stopped taking (by doc instructions) suppressed the reaction in me. So, basically, now that I stopped taking the supressor drug, and got my chemo drug, I was totally in fever land. my temp reached 103.4 around 5pm. it was awful. We were really close to going to the emergency room, but the on call doc's told us to just take benedryl and tylenol. it worked and after a whole day of sleeping i'm somewhat back to normal. I hope that's the last of it. thank god it's over!!!!

now, three weeks until radiation. I promise i'll write more later. I'm heading out to enjoy the day with the family. thank you all again!

STL Core Support Group

9th Chemo Down!

9th week down!! 3 to go!
Last week I had a trip planned to go back to my home town of Saint Louis. It was so nice to be back. I had a great time. My sister and brother in law came in to visit from KC and all my girlfriends from high school had come back with their kids (some of whom I had yet to meet). It had been a long time (years) since i had been back to STL and since all of my girlfriends were back together again. Such a good time.

The week I went home, the doctors mentioned that I had a low red blood count, so I was anemic. I had been really tired, which would have explained something. In general, i have become more tired as the days pass. Chemo is really weakening my body. I had a shot for the red counts last week, and managed to get my count up this past week, but i'm still pretty tired. Got a bit of a cold this week, which has added to it. Overall though, I'm fantastic! I'm so excited that I get to be done with this thing (at least the chemo) in 3 weeks!

Hooray!

Good news! The results have come back from my PET scan! It looks like the chemo is working! The nurse said that my reaction to the drugs gave the best possible results that I could receive. There is no evidence of metabolically active disease anymore and my lymph nodes have reduced in size to practically nothing in my neck and around 8mm in my chest! that is way smaller than the mass they found originally! I feel extremely fortunate and excited!

The bad part of the news is that I have to continue with all my treatment. But, they just want to make sure that they finish it out and that they reduce the risk of it coming back in the future. So, there you have it.

Will write more soon!

Just a Test

Just testing google groups.

Time Standing Still

My sixth treatment is done! so, i guess this means that I'm halfway through. . .with the chemo, at least. Man, it sure does feel like I've been out of touch with the world for much longer than that. Every minute of my life now is about living in the moment and I find that makes my days go by so much slower than planning every second out. It's a good way to live. although, for the planner that I am, it is hard to curb my innate desire to 'do' all that I can. this is something that I've been struggling with. I have to constantly remind myself that it is about me getting better. less beating myself up because i didn't do everything I wanted, more reading and stretching and relaxing. it's surprising how hard it is in our high paced society to actually NOT do anything. I'm working on it though. It's my life lesson.

I am so ready for treatments to be over with. I was told this week that I will have to continue every week with the neupogen shot because my body just keeps getting low white blood counts. They say it's just my thing. Some people have bad side effects, or infections, and I just have low white counts from the chemo. sucks. Good news will hopefully be coming my way soon though. I have a pet scan coming up. I have had this scan before. It pretty much determines where the cancer is in my body and how active it is. This particular scan is scheduled for this Wednesday and will show the progress of the treatment. I will not receive the results until I go in for my seventh chemo session next Tuesday. Grueling, but i'm used to the waiting at this point. The doctor's are super positive. They are fairly sure the results will be good. My cough that I had (caused by the lymph nodes being SO swollen that they pushed against my esophagus) is all but gone, and my swollen lymph nodes in my neck are now flat, which means that they are also not swollen. Great signs! So, even though this was my halfway point, I will be looking forward to next week as the real middle road to see how well the progress of the drugs is going.

I have been feeling pretty good. I'm a lot more worn down than I was those first couple weeks. trying to remain active though. My weeks consist of a little yoga, walks, a run if I'm up for it, and tons of things in between. My sister came into town last week. It was so nice to have her here. And like some of my friends have gotten to experience, she went with me to a chemo treatment. I imagine it's super interesting for those who have not ever done anything like this before. And like all, I'm sure she was pretty surprised to see how nice the facility is that I go to. Stanford keeps you happy for sure. I'll have to snap a picture of the foyer with a grand piano automatically playing all day and concierge desk to direct you to your clinic. Ritzy! Our visit was nice. I'm lucky to have such a great support system.

So, here are some photos to keep you entertained. enjoy. I'm putting one up that my friend Melissa took of me, one of me and the sis, and one of me and brett on our 3 year anniversary weekend in Big Sur (my head was not quite shaved at this point, but brett has shaved his in commemoration of mine falling out!